Thursday, July 30, 2009


Well in the last two days I have covered hundreds of miles from East Sussex to Bicester in Oxfordshire and back, then West Sussex twice plus a lecture and two shows in between. Late night or early morning should I say and then tomorrow a long drive to Yorkshire. Please let the motorways be clear.

I am looking forward to Yorkshire, a charity show with the Calender Girls appearing as well as Shepherds Brass Band. Long drive but a worthy cause. I love the northern humour and the open attitude of calling a spade a spade. A softy southerner going to deliver laughs to t'northerners. I will let you know how it all goes. I hope we have a great night and raise a lot of money.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It Makes Me Angry

The story so far. Claire studies for three years and gets a degree. She then decides to do a Masters. She is now at the final stage no longer at Uni, living at home, no income and anxiously seeking employment to reward her years of study.

While she is seeking work she has reluctantly decided to sign on for a Job Seekers Allowance. I say reluctantly because she wants to work not be supported. Now I might be biased but here she is a hard working individual who genuinely wants a job and not to be a burden on the state. However, she has to jump through hoops, answer tons of questions, justify her previous years of study and account for them and even then she may not be eligible for the allowance. It could take up to 3/4 more weeks before she could even get the allowance that is if they allow it. How does a 22 year old live with no income. What does an honest person have to do to get assistance from the state, some one who will get employment and who will be paying back into the state.

I am so angry that there are some who do nothing, want to do nothing and will continue to do nothing, yet will always get the handouts. Come on, get some perspective in the system. GRRR!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Who's Bright Idea???

Well Mrs P has gone off to Fishers Farm to play with Russell. He seems like a nice prospective father, reasonable manners, nice house, good prospects!! We will see if Mrs P. takes to him. I love Fishers Farm. The staff are fantastic, the owners wonderful and the whole park is a joy to be in and around. It is no wonder it has won attraction of the year a few times. Well done every one there.

The journey over to West Sussex was smooth with no traffic to speak of and we made good time. The unload went very easily, mainly due to the willingness of Mrs P, who seemed quite happy to be placed in a new environment. I bet she is in her element now with all the attention, she loves people and a fuss. we will miss her chatting to us in her paddock but she wont be away too long. The journey back was a different story. For today only, West Sussex Highways had decided to do essential repairs as they see them to a small bridge which has to be crossed on the A272 just before the turn off to Fishers Farm. It meant that on the return journey we were diverted by some 4/5 miles in the wrong direction before we could turn to the right direction. It also meant that the whole journey home had to take a different route as a consequence. Well we did not mind too much the inconvenience but just we got close to the final leg of our trip home there was what looked like a nasty accident ahead which had only just happened. Police turned up, Ambulance and Fire Brigade. This meant we were diverted again and this time a journey north to go east. All in all it added another 24 miles to our journey which meant we had an all round trip of nearly 90 miles. Obviously we wish the victims of the accident well and a speedy recovery but as for the Highways? Why pick daytime to work on a main road that is constantly busy in daylight hours? Why not do it at night. Think of the extra pollution from vehicles forced to use the diversions, let alone the time wasted by the extra journey.

Back home now and dodging showers while I clean the trailor. Oh for a warmer climate, somewhere like Texas. I bet I could go for days and never see a road there in open. I hate driving. 30 years this year I have been driving. Over the last ten years I have grown to hate the thought of geting in a car and battling for a space on the road. When I become famous.............

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Letting Off Steam

Where we live there is every year a Steam Rally. It runs over two days of a weekend and this weekend was the one chosen for this year. It means that for about four days you can see and hear and smell steam engines trundling up and down. The smell is quite unique, the steam and the smoke combined means you either like it or don't like it. Personally I don't like it. When the weather is pleasant we have doors and windows open and the smell of the engines seems to linger for a long time.

Well we got the trailer ready for Mrs P tonight. Hopefully she will enjoy her time at Fishers Farm, we will see. If some one said, Mark you are going to stay with a woman for a few weeks enjoy yourself, I think I might like it but then I am the fella, Mrs P is the woman so to speak in this instance so lets hope she is ok with it. Animals do what comes naturally so it should all be ok.

Watching the swimming in Rome I am fascinated by the range of swimming costumes. I would think bikinis would be a hindrance but it could improve the viewing figures!!! Britain are doing so well, I am very proud to see our guys giving to the rest of the world. All look good for 2012, bring it on. Well done Britian.

I have an interesting week this week work wise so watch the blogs for news and reports. Until later.....

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Mind Numbing

Well Saturday was like the old Saturdays. two children's parties, one in Horsham the other in Brighton. delightful children, nice parents. Tonight we did something we have not done fora long time and found the playstation and played Guitar Hero and other mind numbing games. It made a nice change, thinking about nothing.

Also had to dispatch a chicken when I got home as it was very poorly. I hate doing it but there was no helping it. They are such lovely birds, very friendly and extremely clever. Believe it or not, every day at about 5/5.30pm one chicken will fly the electric poultry netting and come to the house and ask for us to feed them. It is as if she is sent to get us!! We will pick her up while she coos away and go and get the corn, then take it to the chickens. All the time the lone chicken will sit happily under our arm until we place her back with the other chickens.

Then there is Mrs P our wonderful Saddleback Sow pig. We are hoping she will go off on Monday to have a date with Russell the boar pig at Fishers Farm, for a little lovin and make soem little piggies. Watch this space for news.

Well Saturday is drawing to a close so I will finish for now but more tomorrow.....

Friday, July 24, 2009

Rain Rain Go Away

Here we are, the end of another week. Near the end of July and the start of the summer holidays for children and teachers. I remember those days when we broke up from school, the last day being the bring games in day and do nothing but play. How they could allow us to do nothing for a day like that always used to beat me.

If I ever took a day off for illness, which by the way I hardly ever did as I was a good little boy, then I would be made to sit the Spanish Inquisition as to why I had missed a days school. I would need to bring in a note, in triplicate, from a parent to say why young Worgan was not in school. Well playing games for the day was tantamount to the same thing in my opinion. The only difference was that I was actually in school rather than out but even though I was there I was still doing nothing so I might as WELL HAVE BEEN OUT OF SCHOOL!!!

Still here we are the start of six or seven weeks holidays for the little lovelies and now is the time parents start to realise that being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Yes we can clothe them, feed them, give them security but can we entertain them? Can we keep them occupied for an hour, a day, a week or what? Six/seven weeks??!!! Call in all the favours from grandparents, neighbours, uncles and aunts, the child catcher, who ever is available to help with the desparate times ahead.

You could always buy my book: "The Secrets Of Entertaining Children" the most comprehensive guide on how to be a children's entertainer you could wish to buy. Visit and ask me more. That was a huge plug by the way. I am going out to do another show at Fishers Farm now so more later.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Put To Pig

Well today started like it was going to rain but now the clouds are white and fluffy and the sun is out. A bit of a breeze but warm so jolly good and all that!!

I have just returned from a show at the Fishers Farm Theater in West Sussex. I love it there. The theatre is nothing magnificent but somehow a wonderful place to perform and the shows are always great fun to do. visit it if you can, lots for all the family young and old. They are also celebrating because there beautiful Gloucestershire Old Spot sow has given berth to 12 lovely piglets..........sweet.........cute and all that other slushy stuff!!! Our pig, Mrs P is due to go into season now and we want her to get served, not with a cup of tea, or a tennis ball, DUH!! no, you know, get jiggy with a boar. No that is not sleep with a member of parliament either.

A pig will come into season every 17 days, and the gestation period is 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, 3 hours and 3 minutes. I made the 3 hours/3 minutes bit up but the rest is true. Imagine being in season every 17 days. Imagine knowing a female who wanted........every 17 days!!!!!!!

Well it is about time for me to feed the beasts now so I will write again......sausages for tea!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Well I started the day with a show for a pre-school, which I have been a regular performer at for it must be 7/8 years. The children at 3/4 years old are sometimes totally believing of magic. It is wonderful to watch them look in amazement when magic happens, then they get older that belief becomes scepticism, which in turn leads to total disbelief and a game of catch the magician out, which lasts into adulthood.

I love to amaze as well as entertain and make people laugh and the audience that enjoys the spectacle and the entertainment are just wonderful. It is the audience that feels they have a right to mock or try to get one over on the performer that makes the job unbearable sometimes. Still that is also part of the challenge. I have been very fortunate over the years as a professonal to have wroked to audiences all over the world and in that time received truly fanatstic ovations in all languages. I have also received less favourable ovations in all languages as well but we won't dwell on those!!

Why the title drains then. Well I have spent the last hour with our neighbour trying to help unblock her drains. We used my rods and her mans rods and between us managed to clear it so that the water runs away enough. Dirty, smelly, coverd in sludge but she is a good neighbour!!!!!!!!! Don't tell her I said that!!

So where is the link to drains in my opening diatribe. Well, audiences who want to make it a challenge are the drain on my time and skills and the sludge that slows the entertainment from flowing freely. Thankfully it is a small minority so long may the world of magic and entertainment continue.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


Well I am exhausted after a day working outside striming and cutting and pulling up nettles and thistles and balsom. We still have not finished but it looks better. The trouble with living with nature is that nature never gives in so you are always playing catch up.

The British summertime is as expected!!!!! Rain!! Still hot weather would be to much as well. That is the British way. No sun we complain about rain, sun and we complain about the heat!! Anyway a short blog because I am too tired to wirte more. until another day..........

Monday, July 20, 2009

Chocolate Triffle

More like a mouse actually and as a triple chocolate desert it is too much chocolate. Tesco desert which offers value for money, heartburn to match!

Don't you love politicians? NO

I know I answered that question for you but they really are a shambles at times. having said that I think we have the best MP's money can buy!! They confuse us with everything they do. At the moment it's Swine Flu. Do you get pregnant now? Well that is up to you of course but if you do I have some helpful advice.

Don't do it in a public place because you will run the risk of contracting Swine Flu not just a baby. Once you are pregnant then stay at home and get others to go out for you. So for instance, shopping, let some one go out and do the shopping but make sure it is all small items that will fit through the letter box. I.e. sausages, slices of ham, take the bread out of packets and feed them one slice or maybe two (subject to the thickness) through the letterbox, Milk will be a problem, I suggest buying those small sachets you get in caf├ęs. Don't even bother with juices unless they are in those yoghurt strip things. Butter I would recommend being spread on the bread as it is placed through the letterbox. I am sure you get the picture.

Then there is the economy. MMM! The Tory's want to set up a new committee to regulate the way banks operate, is that not the FSA,? It does however, tell us exactly how inadequate the FSA is though. I suppose a new authority would be stronger, more robust, have more clout to act................wouldn't it? I see a refurb not a rethink. At least they are trying to do something though, unlike the Labour Government at the moment who seem to have gone extremely quiet even though all around them there are experts saying the end is nigh!! Not the end of the gloom, the end of the world. Who do we listen to?

I think I will get pregnant and stay at home.......if I still have one!!

Barmy Army

No it's not Afghanistan or Iraq it's Lords. We beat the Aussies in the second test. 75 years to wait but we did it. How can so much be made of it. I know the Aussies and cricket are a red rag to a Bull but come on.....get a grip. Second test of five and the Ashes has only just started. Calm down missus. There's so long to go.

We have friends over for dinner today and my daughter has a job interview. I really hope she goes well in the interview...Good Luck Pops!!

Being a Monday I wondered if the week would start with renewed vigour and optimism and do you know what? I think there is an air about it. Can not put my finger on it but I think chasing things this week might just bring positive results. I hope my bank manager is Reading this blog!!!!!!!!! Perhaps the thought of positive outcomes will be enough for now? Planted some leeks this morning, no I did not go around making holes in water butts or pipes, I mean the vegetable.

Peculiar things to plant. You take a pencil or similar sized tool and make a hole in the earth. Then you snip the roots and trim the top of the plant and just place it in the hole. The water and subsequent time and nature fills the hole and allows the plant to grow. We had a few last year and they were very nice if a little small. This year we hope for bigger..........leeks that is!!

This morning at 6.00am I was letting the chickens out and there was the most beautiful blue sky and an early morning dampness all over the field. It was a gorgeous sight and on mornings like that there is no better place than the English Countryside. Well this is all for now but I may be back after the meal so watch this space.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sunday Sunday

Well another so called weekend comes to an end. What will the new week bring. I have a friend who says think positive thoughts and positive things will happen. Well, here goes.

I perform comedy and so I want to make people laugh. I love to make people laugh. Every now and again it is more than a strain to do so, so forgive me for the deeper moods. Then again I am sitting in my lounge writing this blog wile Casualty 1909 is on and it is filled with death, doom and gloom. Give me a break.............

I drove past Eddie Izzard today as he was jogging. A surreal moment as it was in the Sussex Countryside and it was the last place I expected to see him. He looked determined and fit. Well I am about done, not much for today but I want to raise my game for the week ahead.

Saturday, July 18, 2009


I don't know that weekends are any different to week days in present times. Shops remain open and people work as if it were a normal day. Sad, because the pace of life is frenetic enough and weekends should be a time to chill, family days.

I know times are tough and we are all suffering the consequences of a world recession and a labour government but if weekends were declared days of rest then perhaps we could take a breath and try to relax. Pie in the sky maybe but I really think we all need time to take our minds from things. When times were good I would never have a weekend as I was always working Saturdays and Sundays but as things have taken a grip I find Saturdays or Sundays become free and yet all around me still feels like a working weekday!!

I know that is a contradiction in terms saying on the one hand take weekends as time off, when I was and still do work them as well but being self employed I used to take days in the week as my weekends. This meant I was still trying to employ the ideal of relaxing even if it was not a Saturday or Sunday. I also know that every penny counts at the moment but if all we do is push and push then life will be shorter and the quality of this short life non-existent.

I, like every one, hopes that the recession stars to turn and we can all start to get back on an even keel but until it does let's try to make everyday count and make it count not just by working but as a chance to get some of that quality back in to our lives.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Hard Times TGF

I started the day bt taking my daughter to a job interview in Surrey. I do feel sorry for the graduates out there. They do work hard to get their degrees and at the end of it there are no jobs. I hope they do get their just rewards.

Listening to the radio and I do like Radio2, I do sometimes get fed up with Jeremy Vine. He has a good current affairs/consumer programme which often has usuful and interesting topics. The downside is that he does sometimes like the sound of his own voice...............break it up more often with some music Jeza, let us gather our thoughts and not have to listen for ever to your voice!!! Less is more!!

Motorways, what's the point. Look at the title, "Motor Ways," that implies to me ways that motors travel or go. Well on the M25 this morning, car park, M3, car park. Where's the go???? What's with variable speed limits? They're having a laugh, the traffic only goes two speeds anyway and one of them is stationary. What's the answer then I hear you cry.......well I will tell you, Stay at home!! Spike Milligan once gave his remedy for sea sickness, he said, "Sit under a tree." Same applies.

I will add more today because it is one of those Fridays........middle of summer and it's raining and feels like an Autumn day. It's dark, damp and neaer to Christmas than it is from it. If that makes sense?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Good Start

Well Thursday 16th July has produced an order for my book, "The Secrets Of Entertaining Children" which came in last night from Amazon.

It is always satisfying to know some one will be reading your work some where in the world. I checked on my sales rankings and having started on 1.4 million or something I have reached the heady heights of 336,0000 which in the great scheme of things is a fantastic leap up the charts. Look out J.K. I am on my way!!!!!!!!

I have a show today for an end of term school celebration. I am never sure who celebrates more, the children or the teachers!!!! I think deep down it's the teachers, I mean who wants seven weeks holiday without children?? I applaud all teachers, you do a brilliant job in troubled times. I know it is different from when I went to school, blimey, I sound like an old man but it is a tougher job today.

Having said that I still think that I should teach. I love performing and the buzz but when ever I am in a school I feel that I have more to give.................left to children probably my mind.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Yesterday I received a call from an old client who has booked me in past years on many occasions for their children's party's. I have or had entertainend thier children since they were around 4 years old and the last time I did anything for them was probably nine years ago for their son.

Well, last night the dad rang me and asked if I would perform some Close Up magic for their daughters birthday celebrations prior to her going into town with her friends. I said of course but could not remember how old she was. When he told me 21 years old I could not beleive it. Having seen her last when she was about 11 or 12 it was a real shcok to the system let alone the the ageometer.

30 21 year old's fresh from uni but also a young lady who was now a gorgeous young woman about to start her 4th year at uni. It makes you feel old!! It also makes you realise how quickly time flys doing a job you love. I suppose I take from this a moment in time that says, enjoy what you do because your life will run away from you easier than you think and in the blink of an eye the years will became an age. So do something you love doing and make the most of it everyday.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tuesday Already

Well I believe start a day as you mean to go on. Yeh right. I got up, that was the first triumph of the day. Staggered out to the chikens and sheep in dressing gown. Why they wear them I don't know? Picture the scene. Pleasant warm morning, 7.00am, standing in muck boots and dressig gown feeding chickens and giving sheep a few nuts.......sheep nuts that is!!

Then hanging out the washing all before 7.30am. A days work done. I have even had a hair cut this morning. Can a hair cut change your luck, I hope so because for the first time in ages I purchased a lotto ticket. I did six of my own numbers and then six lucky dip. I could not beleive it when the six lucky dips were within one of each of my numbers on at least four of the numbers. Is it an omen?

You will know by the end of the week because I want bother writing this again for a while as I will be away..............

Cahsing work now, does anybody out there need am hilarious comedy magician? All offers considered!!!

Oh well more later.

Monday, July 13, 2009


Well the start of another week has started and nearly finished. Got to say that the news is the most depressing thing to hear or read. I know that good news does not sell but surely life would be better if now and again we shared good things aound the world?

Still at least I might be able to work beyond 65 so I have much more to look forward to than just today and tomorrow. Just how many openings will there be at DIY stores when I reach the age when I can work there instead of any other job. It will be a good job for the older person as at least I will have a name badge which means I won't have the problem of remembering who I am!!!

I heard yesterday that swearing can be good for you!!!!!! B*****, I still feel the same. They say, whoever they are? That if we swear it can be a pain reliever. Well tomorrow I am going to try it out. If I experience pain I am going to swear like F. and see if it works. I just hope it's not in Tesco or the bank!!!!!! Oh well monday draws to a close, lets see what Tuesday brings.

Back To Normal

It does not take time to get back to normal does it? Monday brings the trip to the bank, then the Post Office to post a book to the States, (International Author that I am!!) and one to Amazon. Then an exciting trot round Homebase to pick up some paint so that my wife can paint a rocking chair and an ottoman. All this was finished by a push round Tescos.

At least we had a nice Tiger Loaf for lunch. Can not understand why supermarkets are so popular. seems like a good business to try. I wonder if there are any ex Woolworth stores where I could start one?

Oh well the afternoon beckons, I might take the starter motor off the 4x4........more later.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Last Cruise

As a regular performer on leading cruise lines I thought I would share with you my report on the last cruise I did. It was an interesting cruise with no names and no packdrill...enjoy.......

We arrived home yesterday lunch time after what can be described as an eventful week. I thought cruise ships moved all the time but you learn something new everyday. To be held captive by the same people who you pay to take you away makes logical sense I suppose but next time I think we should read the small print!!!!

I am not sure we are welcome back too soon to the wonderful town of Invergordon but I hope that we can again soon return to their fantastic Somerfield supermarket and deserted streets and look on at the teenage mums pushing the next generation of hopeless futures. Unfortunately the Museum will be off limits for a while as one or two passengers were a little sick inside and it had to be closed. Still never mind it should be open in time for the rush next..........well when the next ship turns up. In Invergordon they have some fantastic graffiti which they call murals. Isn't it funny how the Scottish language can change a simple meaning in a common language? Still the ambulances are very similar to those in England, as are the air ambulances and the police cars so that was a reassuring sight. It was so nice of the emergency services to put on an impromptu display for us; they kept us entertained for four days, that's not easy with the mood of the passengers. I particularly liked the fact that they contacted the national television to film the displays, I did not see Simon Cowell but who knows, maybe one of his representatives was present but hidden in a bush on shore. Come to think of it there were several dodgy looking characters with huge cameras which I thought strange for a town with eight cars, two supermarkets, a betting shop, large job centre and a library off limits together with a museum run on similar opening hours.
The ship was comfy, if a little damp in places, but due to the calm of being tied to the pier-side we did not have to contend with any sea sickness!! That could just ruin someone’s holiday. The uniforms of the crew were a little unusual; I have never seen them wear masks and hooded jump suits before, well not in the dining room anyway. I don't have a latex fetish but having been handed so many things by young ladies in latex gloves I think I might look up a few web sites and investigate it further. I also liked the fact that your cabin was hoovered and then steam cleaned together with your walls, curtains and bed linen. That is a nice touch although we could not see for a few hours after they cleaned as the windows were steamed up. Still we were able to get messages to the outside world written in the condensation, like, HELP and SOS. We did clear a big circle in the centre of the window to look out but from the outside it looked a little like a black spot, so we were asked to remove it by a gentleman wearing a space suit.

The tea and coffee self service fight arena as we affectionately called it was off limits to self-serving although a lovely young man did hand you what you wanted so at least passengers were not deprived of hot beverages for more than a few minutes. Well, I say a few minutes but sometimes you had to queue from 7 in the morning to get a coffee by lunchtime. Then it did not matter too much as you could get down to the dining room and queue for another hour to be seated there. I love the British tradition of queuing, we lead the world on that pastime. Queuing also allows you to meet other passengers and shake their hands and talk face to face in confined spaces. That is good as it does keep the risk of infection restricted doesn't it? It was unfortunate that the buffet self-service restaurant had to be closed as it meant 770 passengers had to share the 300-seater restaurant. Still I liked sitting on warm seats and it was nice to get some of the left-over offerings from previous diners. Did you know that bread crumbs stick to your wrists undetected for hours. There were, what looked like, some funny looking skin complaints for a while until we discovered it was just bread crumbs. Imagine the panic, a separate outbreak of skin reactions, oh how we laughed!!

The food was actually very well organised and sometimes we got through breakfast in under 3 hours so we were able to enjoy the afternoons at least. Well not all the afternoons as part was spent queuing for lunch and dinner. But I have to say I feel I got to know the restaurant very well. When we did get up to the main deck then what a treat. The lounges were full of seats, all occupied but we could sit outside if that happened. In the moderate temperatures of Scotland that was not too bad as they supplied blankets and thermal socks. The only problem we did find was that the queue for the tea and coffee did get in the way as it wound around the tables and chairs. Still, I did start singing the conga once and that did seem to clear it for a while at least. There were other decks with sun beds. These were tied up due to the rain but the look of them seemed quite appealing and we looked forward to the prospect of using them at some stage.

We could have joined the walk a mile a day club but it would be just the two of us so we gave it a miss. Apparently there are normally up to 10 people who do walk but they were unable to actually get any further than their cabin doors. There was the Gym of course. Fully equipped, with thousands of pounds of equipment, from running machines to weights and various other items of modern day torture. That, funny enough, was empty but we did not have the energy to use any of it sadly due to the weakness of queuing all day.

The evening entertainment was very good. Lots of shows and of course yours truly. The singers and dancers did a great job under slippery floors and the band was always able to play the show tunes with or without a full compliment. The odd solo was silent if the particular band member was not there but other than that they were very good. One show was called "Around The World", how we dreamed. We were just hoping for around Britain!!!!!!!!!

Overall it was a slow week, Alison was able to relax for 48 hours in the cabin uninterrupted by anyone including doctors. It was nice of them to give her some quiet time. They might call it quiet time but I could hardly hear the television over her moaning in the bathroom. I had to turn the volume up full at times to drown her out. Our bathroom had an unusual flush system. Once you had used it you had to push the button and wait for 30 minutes while the cistern filled and then you had to pump the button on the wall for ten minutes to get the flow going. It was a minor work out for me as Alison refused to walk upright around the cabin as if the ceiling were low. I don't know why she crawled everywhere for those few days. I'll never fully understand women.

The walls of the cabins are a little thin. We were able to hear what was being said in the cabins either side. I think they must have been foreign as I could not understand much. Some sounded like Alison in the bathroom but it may just have been distorted by the walls. I know at least one side was religious as I distinctly heard them shout "OH God," a few times in their Bathroom. I guess that was the nearest to a shrine?

The ship did provide a few meals in the cabins while Alison was resting. The breakfast was a little difficult to swallow, it may have been a Scottish tradition but I like milk on my corn flakes and at the minimum in my porridge. There was some advice that dairy products are bad for you if you are feeling under the weather. I don't know as I am not a doctor but with the amount of illness already, would milk have been too much of a problem? The lunch was interesting. Plain boiled unseasoned tasteless potatoes with a strange green sludge later to be called a vegetable puree. That was a relief as it would have been easy to get trolleys mixed up downstairs with all the confusion.

Well the cruise soon came to an end, good things must I suppose. The police and suited men who looked very red faced at times said that providing we allowed a minor hospital staff to travel down with us we could go back to London. Those Scots will do anything for a free trip. Anyway they must have said yes because we left that night and sailed back. A lone Scottish Piper piped us off with his bagpipes. Only the one piper due to the risk of them contracting something but what about our ears and the bagpipes, no consideration there. He played us off with Scotland The Brave. Brave, he was shore-side we were the ones in danger!!

Initially the 10 foot waves were a concern but as soon as people laid down on the floor they seemed to feel better. I thought that some people took the lying down too
far with no thought to where they were laying. I find it quite annoying to have to step over people in corridors and surely it is dangerous? The next day at sea and the sun shone. We finally got to use the sun beds and as many people decided to stay in their cabins there was quite a lot of room on the decks. We arrived in London around 9 in the morning and we were allowed to get off by midday.It was nice to be met by so many people some with cameras but at least none with masks.