As a regular performer on leading cruise lines I thought I would share with you my report on the last cruise I did. It was an interesting cruise with no names and no packdrill...enjoy.......
We arrived home yesterday lunch time after what can be described as an eventful week. I thought cruise ships moved all the time but you learn something new everyday. To be held captive by the same people who you pay to take you away makes logical sense I suppose but next time I think we should read the small print!!!!
I am not sure we are welcome back too soon to the wonderful town of Invergordon but I hope that we can again soon return to their fantastic Somerfield supermarket and deserted streets and look on at the teenage mums pushing the next generation of hopeless futures. Unfortunately the Museum will be off limits for a while as one or two passengers were a little sick inside and it had to be closed. Still never mind it should be open in time for the rush next..........well when the next ship turns up. In Invergordon they have some fantastic graffiti which they call murals. Isn't it funny how the Scottish language can change a simple meaning in a common language? Still the ambulances are very similar to those in England, as are the air ambulances and the police cars so that was a reassuring sight. It was so nice of the emergency services to put on an impromptu display for us; they kept us entertained for four days, that's not easy with the mood of the passengers. I particularly liked the fact that they contacted the national television to film the displays, I did not see Simon Cowell but who knows, maybe one of his representatives was present but hidden in a bush on shore. Come to think of it there were several dodgy looking characters with huge cameras which I thought strange for a town with eight cars, two supermarkets, a betting shop, large job centre and a library off limits together with a museum run on similar opening hours.
The ship was comfy, if a little damp in places, but due to the calm of being tied to the pier-side we did not have to contend with any sea sickness!! That could just ruin someone’s holiday. The uniforms of the crew were a little unusual; I have never seen them wear masks and hooded jump suits before, well not in the dining room anyway. I don't have a latex fetish but having been handed so many things by young ladies in latex gloves I think I might look up a few web sites and investigate it further. I also liked the fact that your cabin was hoovered and then steam cleaned together with your walls, curtains and bed linen. That is a nice touch although we could not see for a few hours after they cleaned as the windows were steamed up. Still we were able to get messages to the outside world written in the condensation, like, HELP and SOS. We did clear a big circle in the centre of the window to look out but from the outside it looked a little like a black spot, so we were asked to remove it by a gentleman wearing a space suit.
The tea and coffee self service fight arena as we affectionately called it was off limits to self-serving although a lovely young man did hand you what you wanted so at least passengers were not deprived of hot beverages for more than a few minutes. Well, I say a few minutes but sometimes you had to queue from 7 in the morning to get a coffee by lunchtime. Then it did not matter too much as you could get down to the dining room and queue for another hour to be seated there. I love the British tradition of queuing, we lead the world on that pastime. Queuing also allows you to meet other passengers and shake their hands and talk face to face in confined spaces. That is good as it does keep the risk of infection restricted doesn't it? It was unfortunate that the buffet self-service restaurant had to be closed as it meant 770 passengers had to share the 300-seater restaurant. Still I liked sitting on warm seats and it was nice to get some of the left-over offerings from previous diners. Did you know that bread crumbs stick to your wrists undetected for hours. There were, what looked like, some funny looking skin complaints for a while until we discovered it was just bread crumbs. Imagine the panic, a separate outbreak of skin reactions, oh how we laughed!!
The food was actually very well organised and sometimes we got through breakfast in under 3 hours so we were able to enjoy the afternoons at least. Well not all the afternoons as part was spent queuing for lunch and dinner. But I have to say I feel I got to know the restaurant very well. When we did get up to the main deck then what a treat. The lounges were full of seats, all occupied but we could sit outside if that happened. In the moderate temperatures of Scotland that was not too bad as they supplied blankets and thermal socks. The only problem we did find was that the queue for the tea and coffee did get in the way as it wound around the tables and chairs. Still, I did start singing the conga once and that did seem to clear it for a while at least. There were other decks with sun beds. These were tied up due to the rain but the look of them seemed quite appealing and we looked forward to the prospect of using them at some stage.
We could have joined the walk a mile a day club but it would be just the two of us so we gave it a miss. Apparently there are normally up to 10 people who do walk but they were unable to actually get any further than their cabin doors. There was the Gym of course. Fully equipped, with thousands of pounds of equipment, from running machines to weights and various other items of modern day torture. That, funny enough, was empty but we did not have the energy to use any of it sadly due to the weakness of queuing all day.
The evening entertainment was very good. Lots of shows and of course yours truly. The singers and dancers did a great job under slippery floors and the band was always able to play the show tunes with or without a full compliment. The odd solo was silent if the particular band member was not there but other than that they were very good. One show was called "Around The World", how we dreamed. We were just hoping for around Britain!!!!!!!!!
Overall it was a slow week, Alison was able to relax for 48 hours in the cabin uninterrupted by anyone including doctors. It was nice of them to give her some quiet time. They might call it quiet time but I could hardly hear the television over her moaning in the bathroom. I had to turn the volume up full at times to drown her out. Our bathroom had an unusual flush system. Once you had used it you had to push the button and wait for 30 minutes while the cistern filled and then you had to pump the button on the wall for ten minutes to get the flow going. It was a minor work out for me as Alison refused to walk upright around the cabin as if the ceiling were low. I don't know why she crawled everywhere for those few days. I'll never fully understand women.
The walls of the cabins are a little thin. We were able to hear what was being said in the cabins either side. I think they must have been foreign as I could not understand much. Some sounded like Alison in the bathroom but it may just have been distorted by the walls. I know at least one side was religious as I distinctly heard them shout "OH God," a few times in their Bathroom. I guess that was the nearest to a shrine?
The ship did provide a few meals in the cabins while Alison was resting. The breakfast was a little difficult to swallow, it may have been a Scottish tradition but I like milk on my corn flakes and at the minimum in my porridge. There was some advice that dairy products are bad for you if you are feeling under the weather. I don't know as I am not a doctor but with the amount of illness already, would milk have been too much of a problem? The lunch was interesting. Plain boiled unseasoned tasteless potatoes with a strange green sludge later to be called a vegetable puree. That was a relief as it would have been easy to get trolleys mixed up downstairs with all the confusion.
Well the cruise soon came to an end, good things must I suppose. The police and suited men who looked very red faced at times said that providing we allowed a minor hospital staff to travel down with us we could go back to London. Those Scots will do anything for a free trip. Anyway they must have said yes because we left that night and sailed back. A lone Scottish Piper piped us off with his bagpipes. Only the one piper due to the risk of them contracting something but what about our ears and the bagpipes, no consideration there. He played us off with Scotland The Brave. Brave, he was shore-side we were the ones in danger!!
Initially the 10 foot waves were a concern but as soon as people laid down on the floor they seemed to feel better. I thought that some people took the lying down too
far with no thought to where they were laying. I find it quite annoying to have to step over people in corridors and surely it is dangerous? The next day at sea and the sun shone. We finally got to use the sun beds and as many people decided to stay in their cabins there was quite a lot of room on the decks. We arrived in London around 9 in the morning and we were allowed to get off by midday.It was nice to be met by so many people some with cameras but at least none with masks.
I am not sure we are welcome back too soon to the wonderful town of Invergordon but I hope that we can again soon return to their fantastic Somerfield supermarket and deserted streets and look on at the teenage mums pushing the next generation of hopeless futures. Unfortunately the Museum will be off limits for a while as one or two passengers were a little sick inside and it had to be closed. Still never mind it should be open in time for the rush next..........well when the next ship turns up. In Invergordon they have some fantastic graffiti which they call murals. Isn't it funny how the Scottish language can change a simple meaning in a common language? Still the ambulances are very similar to those in England, as are the air ambulances and the police cars so that was a reassuring sight. It was so nice of the emergency services to put on an impromptu display for us; they kept us entertained for four days, that's not easy with the mood of the passengers. I particularly liked the fact that they contacted the national television to film the displays, I did not see Simon Cowell but who knows, maybe one of his representatives was present but hidden in a bush on shore. Come to think of it there were several dodgy looking characters with huge cameras which I thought strange for a town with eight cars, two supermarkets, a betting shop, large job centre and a library off limits together with a museum run on similar opening hours.
The ship was comfy, if a little damp in places, but due to the calm of being tied to the pier-side we did not have to contend with any sea sickness!! That could just ruin someone’s holiday. The uniforms of the crew were a little unusual; I have never seen them wear masks and hooded jump suits before, well not in the dining room anyway. I don't have a latex fetish but having been handed so many things by young ladies in latex gloves I think I might look up a few web sites and investigate it further. I also liked the fact that your cabin was hoovered and then steam cleaned together with your walls, curtains and bed linen. That is a nice touch although we could not see for a few hours after they cleaned as the windows were steamed up. Still we were able to get messages to the outside world written in the condensation, like, HELP and SOS. We did clear a big circle in the centre of the window to look out but from the outside it looked a little like a black spot, so we were asked to remove it by a gentleman wearing a space suit.
The tea and coffee self service fight arena as we affectionately called it was off limits to self-serving although a lovely young man did hand you what you wanted so at least passengers were not deprived of hot beverages for more than a few minutes. Well, I say a few minutes but sometimes you had to queue from 7 in the morning to get a coffee by lunchtime. Then it did not matter too much as you could get down to the dining room and queue for another hour to be seated there. I love the British tradition of queuing, we lead the world on that pastime. Queuing also allows you to meet other passengers and shake their hands and talk face to face in confined spaces. That is good as it does keep the risk of infection restricted doesn't it? It was unfortunate that the buffet self-service restaurant had to be closed as it meant 770 passengers had to share the 300-seater restaurant. Still I liked sitting on warm seats and it was nice to get some of the left-over offerings from previous diners. Did you know that bread crumbs stick to your wrists undetected for hours. There were, what looked like, some funny looking skin complaints for a while until we discovered it was just bread crumbs. Imagine the panic, a separate outbreak of skin reactions, oh how we laughed!!
The food was actually very well organised and sometimes we got through breakfast in under 3 hours so we were able to enjoy the afternoons at least. Well not all the afternoons as part was spent queuing for lunch and dinner. But I have to say I feel I got to know the restaurant very well. When we did get up to the main deck then what a treat. The lounges were full of seats, all occupied but we could sit outside if that happened. In the moderate temperatures of Scotland that was not too bad as they supplied blankets and thermal socks. The only problem we did find was that the queue for the tea and coffee did get in the way as it wound around the tables and chairs. Still, I did start singing the conga once and that did seem to clear it for a while at least. There were other decks with sun beds. These were tied up due to the rain but the look of them seemed quite appealing and we looked forward to the prospect of using them at some stage.
We could have joined the walk a mile a day club but it would be just the two of us so we gave it a miss. Apparently there are normally up to 10 people who do walk but they were unable to actually get any further than their cabin doors. There was the Gym of course. Fully equipped, with thousands of pounds of equipment, from running machines to weights and various other items of modern day torture. That, funny enough, was empty but we did not have the energy to use any of it sadly due to the weakness of queuing all day.
The evening entertainment was very good. Lots of shows and of course yours truly. The singers and dancers did a great job under slippery floors and the band was always able to play the show tunes with or without a full compliment. The odd solo was silent if the particular band member was not there but other than that they were very good. One show was called "Around The World", how we dreamed. We were just hoping for around Britain!!!!!!!!!
Overall it was a slow week, Alison was able to relax for 48 hours in the cabin uninterrupted by anyone including doctors. It was nice of them to give her some quiet time. They might call it quiet time but I could hardly hear the television over her moaning in the bathroom. I had to turn the volume up full at times to drown her out. Our bathroom had an unusual flush system. Once you had used it you had to push the button and wait for 30 minutes while the cistern filled and then you had to pump the button on the wall for ten minutes to get the flow going. It was a minor work out for me as Alison refused to walk upright around the cabin as if the ceiling were low. I don't know why she crawled everywhere for those few days. I'll never fully understand women.
The walls of the cabins are a little thin. We were able to hear what was being said in the cabins either side. I think they must have been foreign as I could not understand much. Some sounded like Alison in the bathroom but it may just have been distorted by the walls. I know at least one side was religious as I distinctly heard them shout "OH God," a few times in their Bathroom. I guess that was the nearest to a shrine?
The ship did provide a few meals in the cabins while Alison was resting. The breakfast was a little difficult to swallow, it may have been a Scottish tradition but I like milk on my corn flakes and at the minimum in my porridge. There was some advice that dairy products are bad for you if you are feeling under the weather. I don't know as I am not a doctor but with the amount of illness already, would milk have been too much of a problem? The lunch was interesting. Plain boiled unseasoned tasteless potatoes with a strange green sludge later to be called a vegetable puree. That was a relief as it would have been easy to get trolleys mixed up downstairs with all the confusion.
Well the cruise soon came to an end, good things must I suppose. The police and suited men who looked very red faced at times said that providing we allowed a minor hospital staff to travel down with us we could go back to London. Those Scots will do anything for a free trip. Anyway they must have said yes because we left that night and sailed back. A lone Scottish Piper piped us off with his bagpipes. Only the one piper due to the risk of them contracting something but what about our ears and the bagpipes, no consideration there. He played us off with Scotland The Brave. Brave, he was shore-side we were the ones in danger!!
Initially the 10 foot waves were a concern but as soon as people laid down on the floor they seemed to feel better. I thought that some people took the lying down too
far with no thought to where they were laying. I find it quite annoying to have to step over people in corridors and surely it is dangerous? The next day at sea and the sun shone. We finally got to use the sun beds and as many people decided to stay in their cabins there was quite a lot of room on the decks. We arrived in London around 9 in the morning and we were allowed to get off by midday.It was nice to be met by so many people some with cameras but at least none with masks.
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