Sunday, August 30, 2009


Well today we were supposed to be having a picnic in the Park with friends but as it was a bank holiday Sunday the weather was typically cold and damp. So we ended up indoors for an impromptu lunch which as it turned out was very pleasant indeed. There is a theory I heard or read or both that we are in the throws of global warming.............well looking out of the window and counting the number of goose bumps on me I would say it is still some way off. Tonight when I went outside to lock the chickens up, in shorts and casual shirt, which was odd for chickens I thought, it was cold and damp and dark at 8.30pm, it felt very Autumn like.
The sad thing is that this is the last Bank Holiday of the year. No more freebies until Christmas. At least we can have some nuts then. I hate nuts, well not all nuts, mainly Walnuts. I don't know why I mention this but it came to me thinking of Christmas. In a few days time it will be September, ninth months of the year, my birthday on Sunday next by the way. Send a card if you wish! Nine months and three left to Christmas.2009 is going so fast, when we look back what we will think about it? I will look back on the last day and reflect then, until that day, onwards and upwards. The sky is the limit...........the world is my lobster or something like that.
A last thought for Sunday, I read in the Mail on Sunday that on the 7th September, day after my birthday, there is a new book being published by a chap called Dr. Robert Holden, entitled, Be Happy. He is a psychologist and has riten this book on the "path to a contented existence" I give you one line from the exert they published, and I quote, (You Magazine, Mail On Sunday)
Want to if you're really happy? Ask, "How happy am I today!"
Think about it and give me your thoughts......... BFN

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Today was the day after the night before when we saw our good friends Paul and Judy. They arrived in their motor home and stayed the night in the motor home despite the offer of a comfy bed for the night. Strange people.............What a night, how much whiskey is it safe to consume over 6 six hours? Not too much is the answer otherwise you finf yourself singing or in my case shouting out of tune to Karaoke DVD's. Lucky we live in the countryside that's all I can say.
Now because we had friends staying on our drive we thought we would leave the back door unlocked for them in case they wanrted to come in for the loo in comfort or something, so we went to bed knowing that a door was unlocked. I would never do thos but that was the trust of the neighborhood.
So while on the trust route we decided today to meet them in the beautiful grounds of Chartwell House in Kent to have lunch in their motor home and then go round the house and gardens. Those who don't know Chartwell should make the effort to visit. It is a National TRUST property, which was the former home of Winston Churchill. Probably the greatest Prime Minister we have ever had. To see the house and the rooms there in, still with his and Clemmies belongings is just fascinating and then visit his painting studio to see his works plus the beautiful gardens makes for a lovely afternoon out. This was our second visit and just as good, if not better as you see more the second time.
On a totally different point, typing the word, property is great because once you have typed PROP the erty are all in a line from e to y so it is a nice wrod to type. How many other words are there like that on the keyboard?

Friday, August 28, 2009

Enter Here

My enter button is playing up. For example if I push it now, this happens....nothing. I should have gone to a new line.
It did it this time, very annoying. I have looked at the computer keyboard and it is the most important button. Without it you go nowhere. Well if you don't include the left click button.
I pushed it again then and again but the second time you did not see it because I stayed on the same
line as the first time so in fact you had now idea I had pushed it at all so unless I tell you I should have been or should be on a new line
you won't know. See it worked that time, blooming thing. Except I should be on the line above but beggars can not be choosers!!! There must be something stuck under it. A piece of toast or a sweet or something. That's the trouble with laptops you work anywhere and everywhere with them. I even use mine as a dinner tray for when we are having a family meal in front of the telly. How many of you lay the table every night then? Well this is a short but sweet blog, cheer up very one, at least your enter button is working!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tangled Webs

Guess what? It is up and running at last. The new Mark Worgan website is now live, unlike me who is shattered after a week of late nights building and screaming and swearing at the computer whilst trying to build it. Check it out, and let me know what you think? It is strange that we can have a website, say whatever we like and then send it all around the world. That is advertising. Going direct into peoples homes, offices, cars, phones, almost every where. I love the i phone. I don't have one but the concept intrigues me. Most people have a phone about their person most of the time. It is kinda weird to think that as a complete unknown you could be sitting parked in the phone waiting to be released and into the face of the owner. To think that we can be everywhere for what is virtually nothing is an amazing concept. Trouble is, does anyone actually want you when you are there?
Then there is Facebook. What an incredible social networking site that is. I have become a little obsesssed with Farmville lately. You run your own farm and get points the more money you make which in turn allows you to but more things and expend your farm. You plant your veg and fruit, manage your animals. Hang on, I do that already only not for any points or money. Can I transfer my success on Farmville to real life. In around two weeks I have a profit of £16,000. The virtual world is truly fantasy. If only we can turn our web fantasies into reality some times

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


You know I hate it when you make the effort to call some one then they don't call you back!! Even if there is nothing to say, just go through the courtesy of ringing to say well, "good to catch up bye for now," or some thing. Not to call is just rude.........grrrrr!
Thats that out the way. I have been busy building da door for my mothers bungalow. The door goes from her porch to her garden at the rear. The last one was so rotten you could actually put your finger into the wood. I built the door on Monday, undercoated Tuesday, left it today and will gloss it tomorrow..............job done. She had a quote from some one for £300-400, I did it for £90!!! At least I have had one opening this week. I am about to launch, hopefully tonight, my new website. I hope it goes ok, I am very pleased with what I have built. Fingers crossed for me people.
Have you noticed the amount of wasps there are about. Some are beyond wasps and have mutated into monster wasps nearly two inches long and looking like they mean business. We have a fig tree outside the office and a fully laden plum tree in the veg patch. With the fruits ripening the wasps are everywhere, I am scared to go past them. There was a report on the news the other day about a farmer who had been stung to death by wasps. Not risking that!! We also collected four truck loads of 30 year old wood from our neighbor up the road a way. All I have to do now is sort the rubbish wood and cut it up.
Well that's it for the moment.....later

Monday, August 24, 2009

Ashes To Ashes

Yeppie, we won the ASHES again. Twice in four years, take that you Aussies!!!! Well done to the English cricket team, you did well lads, now for the One day series.
As for me, I am off to fit a new back door in my mothers bungalow. As it is an outside door I hope the rain keeps off. Looking a bit overcast so fingers crossed.
I spent the bulk of yesterday spraying the thistles in the field. Living in the country you have a duty to keep them under control otherwise they take over. Shame that can not be said of many things in life...............Imagine a spray that could take care of obstacles in life. What would you use it on? I also have to look out a part for Plop our farm 2x4. I miss not being able to run around the place on it and loading all the bits that need shifting from place to place. Well this is a short morning blog so I will sign off and write more later. In the meantime, have a good day.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Week ends

Where do the week days go? Where do the weekends go? Where does life go? 22nd August and we know that Summer is nearly over. The days are getting shorter, the nights colder, and X Factor is back on the television!!!! I can not stand X Factor. It goes on too long. I think that the British public love to watch crap. We are very lucky that as a race we are able to laugh at ourselves and have the p**s taken out of us and still be happy. There are not many nations around the world that can do that.
I still can not beleive that the programme comes back year after year. One or two people will get so called fame.what ever that is and lets face it, fame is really money at the end of the day. The real money of course will go to Simon Cowell presumably. Does the world really need another Boy Band, Girl Band, singer in general? I see groups and individuals all the time as I travel the world on ships entertaining and none apart from a few have ever been anybody before. They are however much better than those who apparently make it. Isn't it a terrible turn of phrase, "been anybody before!" they are some one now but that is what fame ultimately does for you. Once you get to be less and less in the public eye your "fame"diminishes and the term, "a nobody," starts to get used. It is almost as if we are wiping the planet of that person. What a terrible thing fame can be. That is why I remain "Unseen By Millions." I could still do with the money however!!!!!!!!!
So my friends, that is why I placed a gap in the title, week end is what X factor brings for me to the end of a week. Later all................

Thursday, August 20, 2009


WWW. stands for, Where was Wednesday? My last post was the 17th August, which as I look at my watch tells me it was 3 days ago. Well I can account for the 18th as I was busy around the Farm then in the evening I started putting a new web building programme onto the computers, which inevitably lead to trying it out. Well that meant sitting in front of the computer until 1.30am in the morning because you get caught in the World Wide Time Warp. Then Wednesday once again sitting all day in front of the computer trying to get to grips with the programme and starting to build my new website. Website by the way is one word not two, please spell checkers get a grip!!!!!!! So where was Wednesday? One of the hottest days of the year, blue sky, sun, a gorgeous late summers day. Apparently??
The computer is the worst sponge for time and place and moment. It is all too easy to get sucked in to it's bewitching spell and grip. I don't know what it is but it is so mind concentrating yet so easy on the eye in as much that you watch the screen, which you are constantly in control of, changing it's appearance with story or picture or movie or something and almost hypnotising yourself away from real time. After a whole day at the computer we were treated by our good friends Steve and Linda, those of the "Last Cruise," fame to a meal and a few pints of the beautiful Harvey's bitter in the lovely Halfway House Pub, in the evening. Thanks guys, real life savers.XX
Today, was a put a new cooker handle on the cooker in our property in Guildford and then two shows at the fabulous Fishers Farm. 104 miles round trip. Now I am back at the computer after Claire and I have changed the position of the chickens' run and feeding the piggies. At least today I saw the outside world. It still exists, warts and all. As for the new website, it is still in the making but getting close to a finished first crack. I will upload it and I will be making it better but I will also be happy when it is over...........!!!!!!!!!
In past blogs I have moaned about the slow work front and I was looking for the opening to get the ball rolling. Well the opening arrived. I am going to put a new outside door and frame in my mothers bungalow, building it from scratch due to the size. That certainly is an openng but to be honest not what I had in mind!!!!!!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Fly Strike

Today was a catch up day. Get some bits done around the farm plus do the food shopping and get the low down on a new web site making programme which is in the post to me.
Our lovely retired vet neighbour came around this evening to spray the sheep with Click to prevent Fly Strike. It is very necessary, after all would you want maggots on your backside??
We then all had a nice meal, which was......roast lamb!! Be assured it was not one that we had just sprayed!!!!
Tomorrow I will finish the bathroom decorations from last week. I hope. I wrongly said that Jennifer Ennis won gold last night for Britain in the Heptathlon. It was in fact Jessica Ennis, sorry Jessica!
Well I guess a bathroom in Brighton will have to do rather than Vegas!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 16, 2009


I am close to tears for a few reasons......I must get some new boxer shorts!
Jennifer Ennis has just won a gold in the Heptathlon in the World Championships. A Brit is number one. A fantastic performance and a hot looking lady as well. Well done!!!
I spent today cleaning out the and organising the workshop, dirty, smelly and covered in cobwebs.............but I good to the kids!!!!!!!!!!!! How do we accumulate so much crap? Is there a crap monster that sneaks in under the cover of darkness and over a period of time drops crap everywhere but secretly adding it to stuff so that when we sort it out we discover things that we know we never had in the first place?
I think I am going to set up CCTV and watch for this magic monster. Well it is 9.00pm on Sunday evening, I have just finished cooking dinner and then washing up and finishing my last bottle of wine. I am not going to have an more alcohol for two weeks and see what difference it makes. Last time I did it for nearly two months and lost three days.........actually lost quite a lot of weight. I will keep you posted.
Going to put the chickens away and watch the Full Monty. Who knows I might be a Chippendale yet.

Friday, August 14, 2009

An Ouefs an ouef

If I could recommend one thing, it would be NOT to drop a half a dozen eggs in the back of your car on a warm day. I did not do this but good old Derek did just as he was about to leave from a hard day fitting a new bathroom with me...........It was not funny..well not too funny!!! Sorry Derek your a good man and a fine cousin.
I must admit I will be glad when we can finish the job in hand and tomorrow should see it done. Had a nice meal with our dear friends Paul and Judy tonight in their new motor home on a camp site in Alfriston. Lovely evening but I refer you to a previous Blog about travel homes. Theirs is actually great and I look forward to a few more dinners in it with them.
A very short blog today as I have been busy both in the day and tonight but longer ramblings over the weekend.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Getting Plastered

Old houses are notorious for problems and surprises. Today we took the old bath from the bathroom in one of our houses and discovered that the owner befoes had made a few bodged repairs in the past. On pulling tiles off the wall we also pulled at the same time the layer of tiles behind it plus the sheets of ply wood on which the top tiles had been stuck. It was no wonder we had a problem with water getting behind everything. Hopefully by re-plastering and retiling and a new bath we will no longer get the problems from before..... Nothing is simple when you want it to be.

Hopefully there will be another reason to get plastered after today. Claire went for a second interview for a job today, so we hope a good result is forthcoming. Watch this space.

All I need now is to get some dates for some future work to come through and it will be a productive week all round. Once again, watch this space.

One more thing, why does fruit go off so quickly. We purchased some lemons from a well known supermarket, no names but every little helps, just a few days ago. Having used two there is one left but another one has already started to turn, with a lovely coat of fungi beging to grow. Yummy!!!!

Well this a short blog as I am very tired after an exhausting day. More tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Holland 2 England 2

Friendlies are useful because the manager can sort the wheat from the chaff. But come on. If he does not know know then he won't ever know. The beginning of the season, players still not fit, managers of the clubs where our players actually earn their money chewing finger nails hoping they don't get an injury. June 10th 2010 is the start of the world cup, which unless something unbelievable happens we will be in but right now he should have the team that will play in those games chosen and in the bag. Maybe Fabio has already played that team, I hope so because games are running out and I hear on the grapevine that we are fourth favourites to win!!!!!!!!!! No pressure then.

To be absolutely honest I am bored with football. I can not believe it. I have grown up watching, playing and enthusing over all my life but just recently I have grown away from it. I am sure the World Cup will bring it back.

What will the next 10 months bring in the meanime. Hopefully, travel with work attached and especially seeing dear friends again. Perhaps a change of career or a move or something bigger. Who knows? Keep watching this blog and be a part of ther future with me.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

210,000 KMH

Well tonight was the peak of the meteor shower.........if that was the peak then I am glad I missed it up to now. In an hour after sitting in the field and then the garden we saw about a dozen. They apparently travel at 210,000 Kmh. Admittedly some were quite spectacular but the majority bearly visible. I now have a stiff neck, and a headache but what a nice way to end an evening. Space fills me with wonder and awe and always gets me thinking deeply. Here we are on this little planet of ours and up above us are hundreds of billions of stars or planets or who knows what.

Down on earth we have so many things that we consider to be problems but in the great scheme of things why worry. Out there somewhere is who knows what and that is bigger than any of us could imagine. It could be good, it could be bad but one thing for certain is that it is unknown and that is a huge thing we should worry about because that might be our saviour or our........ You know it is being so cheerful that keeps me going.

Women's fellas go to the Barber we sit for 20 minutes, we chat to the barber, he cuts, shows us the back of our head and we get up, pay £9 0r say $15 and leave. Women have to plan a whole day around a visit to the hairdresser. Wash, cut, style, dry, coffee, gossip, text, email, just to name a few things that must be taken into consideration. Then the bill, I guess but without a colour say £30-£45 or $40-$60. Then, they are never really satisfied and they ask you what you think.The most terrifying part of their whole hairdressing experience but not for them, you. What ever you say they won't believe you so do us all a favour ladies. DON'T ASK and if you do, accept what we look beautiful. We mean it!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Basil Brush

I did a show today at the wonderful Fishers Farm Theatre and after my first show a member of the audience came onto the stage and said to me that I should be on the Basil Brush Show, as I would make a fortune. For those of you in far flung places who have never heard of Basil Brush, he is a puppet character who is a Fox and that has been around since I was a little boy........... and that is a looooong time ago. Why I tell you this momentous piece of useless information is that it was a rather strange thing to say to me. Admittedly he has his own television show, yes a puppet with his own tv show but how do I fit in?

Of all the things I could appear on, the Basil Brush Show would be the last I would expect. It is also rather funny as all in the audience were introduced to me as Magic Rabbit!! Now everyone knows the natural enemy of the rabbit is the fox..........hang on, it was not a compliment was it? Duh! Or was it? You decide.

I am back there again tomorrow so I will see if there is anything waiting for me, perhaps it will be a television contract..................................

On another tack, Sandra Bullock, nothing else to say really!!!!!!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Day After Day

It was nice to see my daughter unwind with her friends and enjoy a few drinks, chat, laugh and believe it or not play "Articulate!!" They are a very civilized bunch, a good bunch who should go on to make good futures.

After all good get together is the inevitable clear up. Marque, food, BBQ, bottles, bedding, general rubbish, plus the washing up etc. That's all taken care of and now it is evening and hopefully a peaceful run into a new week.

I have friends all over the world, some away themselves, others at home. It is amazing the contacts we make and the people we touch. We all lead our lives and we communicate mainly via email or on the odd occasion, telephone. It is strange to think that here I am in my life, they in theirs, yet we all share thoughts, stories and more as if we are next to one another. It is a shame we can not be in each others company however, there is no substitute for face to face. That is why I was so pleased to see Claire enjoy the real company of friends instead of, Facebook, MSN or whatever media it is they choose.

So to all my friends all over the world, Cyndi, David, Joe, Pierre, Bob, Jerry, Roberta, Joel, Linda, John, Lilly, Chris, Steve, Linda again, Paul, Judy, Peter, Pat, Phillip, Janine, Dave, Linda, for the third time, Lesley, Minas, Bob, Julie, and the many others, to name but a few, I am thinking of you and one day perhaps soon we can meet up again.

Saturday, August 8, 2009


Well, the weather finally came good on Claire's birthday for once. 9 friends from Uni came down to spend the afternoon and 5 are staying over. We have cooked on the BBQ for the first time in two years, well certainly since we have been at the Farm anyway.

I don't think I had any parties for my 22nd. In fact I was married when I was 22. Blimey, how times change.

All she needs now is a job. Fingers crossed for the future.

Our friends picked up their Motor Home today and are off for the weekend on it's maiden journey in the New Forest. I hope they have a good time. I am not sure that travelling around in a motor home is my cup of tea but each to their own. I do look forward to spending some time with them though. It might grow on me. The freedom sounds nice so that is certainly one large thing in it's favour.

I spend a lot of time travelling the world on cruise ships and so the aspect of seeing new places is definitely something to get excited about. The difference is that I get taken and the thought that I would have to drive myself is what really puts me off. Then again, I should try before I dismiss it. Later......

Friday, August 7, 2009

August Rain

I decided to write an early blog as it is 11.oo am and raining!! Have a lot to do around the garden and farm but the weather is doing it's best to stop it or slow it down. I don't mind getting wet but it is not pleasant and besides that, the tools get ruined. If any one in the States is reading this then please can you send us some of your daylight savings as we could add it to August and perhaps get a little time to do the bits we are being forced to put off!!!

I did not mention yesterday about the lose of our last surviving WW1 soldier. 111 years old. As an age that is remarkable let alone what he fought through and survived. It has got me thinking, do I want to live to be 100. Answer as I sit here looking out at the rain, not much work in the diary, the phone not ringing despite being proactive, NO. If I think what Harry saw in his lifetime. Cars, television, electricity, computers, space, to mention just a few, will I see this the amount of invention and change that he did. It seems not but at my tender age of 47 I have seen man land on the moon, computers become an everyday household necessity, mobile telephones, jet planes, alternative energy, cures for illness's, medical advancement such as Heart Transplants and other organs again to name a few. These things I think we all take for granted, the common factor still remains however. We are making weapons with which to kill each other or destroy whole countries and ultimately the world. Is that progress???

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Quantative Easing

Well now.....£50,000,000,000 of "Quantitative Easing," that would water my hole!!!! But having seen the Express headlines, House Prices increasing etc. I can not fail to be amazed by everything we in this country try to do. Just how many headless chickens are there in the city and whom is slaughtering them but not finishing the job????

The Bank of England inject another tranche of money into government bonds, and I think we are only over the prescribed amount by some £100,000,000, to induce banks in general to pass it on. Well if the banks actually did that, then it might make a difference. As far as I can see the banks rub their hands with glee saying, "Money, money, money all for us!!!!" If businesses and borrowers were allowed any then perhaps the economy might stand a chance of turning. No one expects it to change over night but just how long will we have to wait before the banks start giving out what is being given to them? Oi, what about us? It would be a damned sight better if the BOE just gave every tax payer a hand out of so much....perhaps £10/£20K with the proviso that we use it to clear debt or even pay the mortgage for a year/six months or something. At least the money would actually get into the system and then we might see some "Quantitative Bloody Easing!!!"

Talking of easing, (or in this case getting it in!!) you might recall our pig, Mrs P. who has gone to Fishers Farm, to spend some time with Russell for a good time. Well I saw her today and I was told, not by Mrs P. but by staff that some heavy sex had taken place, judging by the noises coming from the pen. Go on my son, make me a daddy, so to speak!!

That really is quantitative easing. Create an opening and make it work, giving life as an ultimate goal. Deep but there is a tenuous link there somewhere?

I stood on stage today and looked out into the blackness and thought about the money that was now in the system, supposedly, and then also thought of Mrs. P. Life is better than money. Creating life is the most wonderful gift we have. Life however, needs money to survive and that is sad but true. Money will buy us food clothe our backs but it will also bring us down. The really sad thing is that there is no substitute for money otherwise we could live without it and with each other instead.

Lend us a fiver!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Moving Boundaries

Electric fencing is a wonderful thing, unless your a fox or a hedgehog perhaps. We moved the fence around our chickens in the field this afternoon and they really seem to appreciate the effort. Fresh grass and new views.

One of our chickens flys over the fence and wonders around to the house cluckin loudly to attract our attention. We think she is the messenger for the flock to come and get us, so that we can feed them. She allows us to pick her up, carry her back cooing all the time. A most strange chicken!!!!!!!

4 Billion pounds in losses. We own collectively as a country, the ordinary person, 43% of Lloyds Banking group so will I get my hard earned cash back as a tax payer? I was not asked to pay in to it and now I own part of a bank in debt, well more debt than it was before I was volunteered as a share holder!!!!!!! They talk about reckless lending that put the banks into trouble in the first place but what about the reckless investments made on my behalf? Times are tough enough without adding to the burden. The boubaries were supposed to have been shored up by government intervention but it seems to me that they have been dismantled and moved further away but reserected from tissue paper. If the rain keeps up and the wind blows the wals will come down completely and then what????

As I write this Terminator 2 is on the television, the end of the world is nigh save for Arnie. I wonder if he wishes to run for Prime Minister???!!!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Danger Man

Today I took my life in my hands. I spent the afternoon cutting back the roadside hedge while traffic came past me at 70 mph plus. It would appear that a man standing on a narrow verge with a hedge cutter in his hands wearing a fluorescent jacket is not enough to slow down the idiots. In fact it would seem that it is not enough to move away from the road edge a few feet, so that the draft of racing cars drags you dangerously close to the road. Why do we drive so fast? Life is short enough, don't try to make it even shorter, or even some one Else's!!!!!!
I am not a fan of speed cameras but I would love one outside our drive.......stop the speed demons, if only to save my life and those of my family.
Well I am beat for the day so a short blog. a new day beckons tomorrow, what will it bring?

Monday, August 3, 2009

Birthday Magic

My Little girl was 22 today.........22!! Does that make me feel old? My favourite little girl all grown up. We went for a Chinese tonight which was lovely, a good time. Happy Birthday Pops.

I can remember when I used to perform magic shows for her and now the magic is made from other things not Dad doing his Magic Rabbit Show. Oh well life moves on.

Having just completed a busy weekend in Yorkshire, it was a strange day today, increasing the height of the walls on the Well outside our front door. We think the Well is probably as old as the house, around 500 years, so it is nice to see it become a feature.

I forgot to say yesterday about the Comedy Cabaret I performed on Saturday. I did over an hour of comedy and magic which was a mix of my two shows although I did more of the stand up comedy within the time. I was particularly pleased with the timing on Saturday. It clicked so well and the presentation of a new trick was very satisfying. Bearing in mind I was performing to a Yorkshire audience and there is a divide between North and South and the humour we share I feel as though I have finally cracked it after 20 years in the business!!!!!!!!

My DVD was filmed at a theatre in front of a live audience and that night was a special night but I would have loved to have filmed the show on Saturday. There is nothing greater than 173 people laughing and you making them laugh. Forget drugs and alcohol.

If you want to see my DVD, contact me on

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Yorkshire Day

Well I have just had a great two day in Yorkshire experiencing Yorkshire Hospitality and good humour.

I was a little anxious about a Southerner going up north to entertain the cloth cap brigade but I need not have worried. My Hosts, Peter and Pat were just perfect and their good friends and past acquaintances of mine, Janine and Phillip were lovely. They are great people and I can not wait to see them again, either here or on a cruise.

The function itself was a fantastic success and I think raised around £2000 for charities. the Calender Girls were hilarious telling stories of the formation of the group and the amazing life that has come from it amid a tragic core. Angela was a true professional speaker now having presented at countless dinners etc around the country and indeed the world. Good on you girls, over £2000,000 raised so far and more to come.

As for my magic and comedy cabaret well I received one of the best reactions ever. The Yorkshire folk love a laugh and it was a real buzz to get 173 people roaring with laughter. The best thing about their humour is their ability to laugh at almost anything and that is a special gift in life, especially in current times. All in all it was a very successful event for everyone, well done to Wetherby Rotary and it's committee I hope the total rises before the end.

The journey to and fro was the only downside. Why is Yorkshire so far away? Over 5 hours going up but 4 hours 30 coming back. Well it's down hill coming back so slightly quicker. The M1 is the longest, most boring, slowest road in England, surely. You can not relax with idiots left and right and behind and in front. I could hardly concentrate on my crossword and Suduko!!!!!!!!

Well I am off now to perform at a christening aving been nhome for two hours. I am looking froward to sleep tonight but not before some more blog me thinks...........