Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The last two days I have entertained mentally handicapped children and teenagers at PASCO in Chichester. I have experience of entertaining this type of audience before and as in the past it always makes me feel very humble.
They adore the entertainment without question just pure involvement and enjoyment. When I compare these audiences with traditional audiences of children and teenagers without any disability I think to myself, how lucky we all are to be able to lead normal lives. The children at PASCO on the other hand could teach us something very important, humility, and love of life. The life they lead is normal for them but they radiate so much to everyone. Happiness, trust and openness and a joy for all they see and do. They don't ask for much but give so much. It was a pure joy to give something back. Thank you PASCO and have a happy Christmas and wonderful New Year.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Well here we are, well into December and the dreaded Christmas is nearly upon us. I have been surprisingly busy so far with some great shows behind me for grown ups and children alike. There are still plenty to go so I expect I will see and hear the screams of very excited children for a little while yet!!
I had to have my retested last week as I thought they were suffering despite only having them checked and new glasses in January. Well guess what? The had changed and I had to have new glasses, which I picked up today. Yank Hoodness I sid, itherwire I would provsbt be wettng a load of ruddish nos. Layer my grinds.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
So here we are, 9th December and I am in the UK for the duration, no cruises booked until the New Year. I have already performed several times in recent days with some varying types of shows. They have ranged from nurseries to schools to grown ups. One was a 60th birthday for a person I had performed for on her 5oth.
It was a lovely day, with a nice venue, Sussex Pad, in Shoreham, where I performed Close Up Magic for pre-dinner drinks then around the tables during the meal. Following the meal I performed a Comedy Cabaret, which was very well received. I followed that, straight after on the same day with a trip up to Rudgwick, near Horsham, where I performed a children's show and then some mix and mingle Close Up Magic. The picture is me cooking a day after my long journey back from Santiago.......tired moi!!!!!!??
The next morning I was performing for the Early Birth Association, for whom I have performed for many years. That is a lovely occasion. A giant party with loads of children and their parents plus food and tea and coffee. A good old fashioned Christmas party with a special appearance by Santa!!!
Yesterday I was performing Comedy Cabaret for the Wessex Magical Association, in Poole in Dorset. A lovely crowd for a long journey down and back. Tomorrow I will be performing Close Up magic for the MS Society, for whom I have performed regularly over the years. I always have a great time there so I really looking forward to seeing them all again.
After the show I am getting my eyes tested again as I am suffering with my sight a bit. More on that after the examination. I also took delivery of a new iphone, which I trying to get to grips with as well. Watch this space for more news, Christmas is coming.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I thought today was Wednesday!!!!!!!!! I can not tell you what a blow it is to lose a day when you find out.
It was like my Grandad when he was on holiday. He sent me a postcard, which said, "Having a nice time, where am I?!"
It must be catching, more tomorrow, Friday???
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Well I haven't blogged for a few weeks because I have been away on back to back cruises. First, as I reported, was the wonderful Regent cruise then four days later the Holland and America MS Veendam. This was a seven day trip of which five were on the ship and the other two travelling.
This was an adventure!!! I flew good old BA to Amsterdam then from there to Lima in Peru. A short 6000 mile trip. It started ok with a quick 40 minute flight to Amsterdam and then a two hour lay over there and a connecting flight with KLM to Lima. I was told at Gatwick that my bags would need to be rechecked in Amsterdam so I dutifully went to baggage reclaim to collect them. Nothing came out of the hole where cases come out. S**t I thought and went to the KLM desk to ask if I should expect them as I was connecting to one of their magnificent flying machines. "No," said the desk attendant looking at my luggage labels, "you will pick them up in Lima, be off with you," in a Dutch accent. "Are you sure?" I asked, "yes it says on your labels now go forth and catch your plane!!"
I did that as told and sat for THIRTEEN HOURS on the plane arriving in Lima around 7.00pm completely shattered for some reason even though I did not actually do anything!!
I waited at the luggage carousel for a while and then over the tannoy came, "Mr Worgan please come to the KLM desk, that's Mr Worgan to the KLM desk." I went and was confronted by a disheveled looking man in a KLM uniform who delighted in telling me that my luggage would not be arriving and was still in AMSTERDAM. No apology, no words of comfort just that. Well, we had a discussion about things, man to man. You know the sort of conversation you would have with an uncaring foreigner who has just told you that you are 6000 miles from home, about to join a ship for 5 days and perform two 45 minutes Comedy Cabarets, that you don't have any clothes or props. It was a loud conversation but fruitless. I was told that it would arrive the next day at 6.50pm, which was great considering I was sailing at 5.00pm. I went by cab to the ship where I poured my woes on the reception and Cruise Director staff. They lent me a T shirt and a pair of tracksuit bottoms so that I could send the clothes I was wearing to the laundry. Clothes being a shirt, boxer shorts, pair of socks and blue jeans.
Next day I went into Milflores and purchased some underwear and socks so that I could walk about without a strange smell for the next few days. Over the course of the following five days they lent me a dress suit for the formal night and a shirt so that I could perform my show in. Yes, despite no props,I did carry a few items in my carry on so I was able to perform one 50 minute show, which went very well indeed. As for my luggage, I never picked it up until I left the ship, when I arrived at Santiago airport it was waiting for me in Lost Property. A much relieved person was I as 48 hours later I was flying out to Miami to join the beautiful, MS Seabourn Legend.
This cruise left Miami and went for 28 days or so around the Caribbean down the Panama Canal and back to Miami. I was only on for five days but this to became seven!! I did my two shows as scheduled to very appreciative audiences and was due to disembark in Roatan, Honduras. This was all going well except for the day we reached Roatan. It had horizontal rain and no visibility, which meant it closed the airport, which in turn meant I could not fly out. So I stayed on the ship for a further two days, performed another show, this time my comedy Close Up magic and then on the last night a show for the crew. I eventually got off in Costa Rica and flew home from San Jose. Overall, if I was to be stranded anywhere, it was the best place to be, on board the elegant Legend. Only 160 passengers with 12 different nationalities but all very nice and very appreciative of my performances. Despite being two days late I had a great time.
For the rest of this year I am in the UK but hopeful of more dates for the New Year. I will keep up to date with my adventures in the UK over the coming weeks.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Wow, I am shattered. Since I returned I have not stopped. I have been making repairs to kitchens, fitting kitchens, lining dung houses with plastic, trying to fix leeks and much more.
My lovely daughter has now got a job and we are all over the moon for her. We are sure she will be a great success. Good luck POPS!!
Last night went to a firework party at some friends and spent the evening after the display eating and drinking. It was very nice to be part of their company after being away on and off and not seeing them. I must confess to drinking much too much wine but was in full control; at all times......honest.
I am not sure I like fireworks. What a waste of money. A nice spectacle to watch but all that money literally going up in smoke!!!! Still a few hundred people enjoyed the half hour display so joy was the order of the night. We have a busy week ahead so I will keep the news coming.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Well here I am, back again after another cruise around the world. This time I flew out to Abu Dhabi to join the Regent Seven Seas Voyager. This is a lovely ship, a little larger than my usual ships with a capacity of 750 passengers plus crew but on this occasion it had just over 500 in each of the two segments that I sailed in. The first segment saw us sail from Abu Dahbi to Mumbai. We called at Farajah before two sea days to Mumbai. I performed one Comedy Cabaret in this segment on one of the sea days to great success.
The ship was a mix of Americans, Canadians, Brits and a few other nationalities including Mexicans, French and more. All were very friendly and receptive to me and gave me very warm applause which continued into the second segment as well.
Mumbai was my second time around, the first left a very emotional memory and the second an even deeper memory and experience.
On a tour into the back street markets we (passengers and I) saw some terrible sights. So much so I was actually upset. One place was a cow sanctuary where they take any stray cows off the streets and keep them in sheds of a sort to look after them. That was just one side to the sanctuary as on the other there was a man cleaning cow mess off the floor of one of the sheds with bare feet and hands and a small piece of wood. Sitting in the dung!!!!!!
Then on the other side of the courtyard area there was a man cooking some food in two huge pots in the open air. As he stirred the place was swarming with flies from the heat and flies were going into the pot and getting stirred in. Two little girls sitting around were eating sweets and they to had flies buzzing and landing on them around their mouths and eyes and hands etc. It seemed as thought the cows got preference over the people. Outside on the streets were the usual beggars but one of the most upsetting types I have ever seen was a man who literally had no arms or legs just his upper body. He was placed on the road unable to move in strong sunlight and an intense heat. It really sobers the mind!!!!!!! It made me feel so sad!!!!!!!!! Mumbai this time was so different, I still liked it but boy it brings things home. More people should see this and they might change their attitudes to the world. I was very moved by it.
After Mumbai we went to Kochin where Regent had organized a boat race in the countryside between several villages all competing for the Seven seas Trophy. These villagers raced down the river in long boats with 100 men in each. As they raced there were four or five who were standing beating the rhythm of the oar strokes on the boat. It was all very exciting with with two passengers with whom I had sailed with before, over two years ago on another Regent Ship, placing a small $1 wager on the winner. I chose the greens who eventually won. I took an immense $3. All a bit of fun.
Then the ship sailed for the Maldives where I disembarked. Over all I performed two Comedy Cabarets in the Theatre and a Close Up Magic show plus as a panelist in the Liars Club. All very well received. I look forward to performing again on this ship or indeed any of the Regent ships.
I am here for the next week before flying to join a Holland and America ship in Peru. Before then we will still chat.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
I am finally back from the last cruise. I did not post as the internet was slow and I would probably have paid the equivalent of my mortgage to post the daily happenings!!!!!!!!!!
I returned from Barbados in very warm indeed hot conditions to a moist Britain. The cruise was interesting from the point of view playing to a mix of British and German audiences but they were none the less successful shows. Overall the two weeks were an experience some of which can not be shared on line. I am off again on Tuesday to Abu Dahbi sailing via India down to the Maldives on board the Regent Seven Seas Voyager. I will fill in the blanks when I get back.
I can tell nothing has changed here because X Factor is still on as is Strictly. How much longer do we have to suffer these? Unfortunately I am only away for 8 days so I guess for a long time yet.
I did perform at a wedding on Friday in Egham and then Comedy Cabaret at the Southend Sorcerers annual dinner in the evening so at least I got in some practise before jetting off again. I wonder if the 350 F1 Marshalls will be on my flight? I will let you know.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The seas are rough today so it has been hard keeping up right and the motion has got to a few passengers and crew. I got up and then after an hour laid down again as it makes you very tired. My body obviously needed it as I slept for another 45 minutes. We now have another four days after this at sea, before hitting Antigua. Wish me luck on bumpy seas with a slowly warming audience. I think I am going to be asked to perform a magic workshop on one day so I will keep you posted. Can not seem to work up a real appetite on these seas but I can not last till morning on nothing at all. At least with the bumpy seas we have warm weather, which is probably not the case in the UK right now. Until next time………………..
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Well here I am on the Marco Polo bound for the
This is my third visit on the Polo and if you go the very first blog I ever did you can read about my last adventure, which was appropriately called the “Last Cruise.” I say no more than read it….
I am scheduled for two 45 minutes Comedy Cabarets the first of which is this Friday, the same day that the ship reaches the
Monday, October 5, 2009
Well tomorrow I set sail on the Marco Polo heading across the Atlantic to the West Indies. Ports of call include, Antigua, St.Maarten, St. Barts, Tortola, St. Kitts & Nevis, St. Lucia, and home from Barbados. This will be my third trip on the ship o I am hoping the regular staff will be on board. I will be performing my usual 45 minutes comedy cabarets plus hopefully my Close Up Magic Show.
Then on my return I am home for just 4 days before flying off to Abu Dhabi to join the Seven Seas Voyager down to the Maldives. All in all thousands of miles and hopefully thousands of laughs.
As wonderful and as beautiful all these places are, I am there to entertain so that is what I will concentrate on. Give 'em some laughs along the way.
I hope to blog the daily events so keep reading for the updates and wish me luck.
Friday, October 2, 2009
I have spent the afternoon sawing logs into burnable sized logs for the impending winter months. Now before we can do that we have to the Flu sorted for the wood burner. The point is, a lot of the wood we have has been harvested from old Leylandi mixed with Ash, Ewe and Hawthorn. The barks are similar in some of the tress especially after they have been left for years to rot some what. Why am I concerned? Well having had the chimney swept, the resin from the Leylandi is notorious for lining the chimney with tar, which is very hard to remove let alone the fire risk. This is why I am trying to group the wood so that only a little of the nasty stuff gets burnt at any time in amongst the good wood. We have also built or cleared an area to use as the log store. Now due to the fact that I am away for the next three weeks the log cover is a tarpaulin............ a nice blue one!!!I went to find a green one but the cheapest was £31. What a rip off. It is staying blue for the time being. Short blog tonight but watch this space for news of the upcoming cruises next week.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Today I spent in the barn concreting. We have our pig Mrs P. coming home on Monday and she will be pregnant. We are hoping to make the barn a farrowing section for her when the the time comes. The work is hard but satisfying and hopefully a good way to lose weight...............we will see.
England beat Croatia 5-1 tonight so we are on the way to South Africa, yippie, English football on the up again. Now can we make it to the final? Can you imagine the press and the pressure and the tension across the country. It would be unbearable. Look at poor young Andy Murray who got knocked out of the American open today. The fella in the Times is already questioning whether he has the temperament for the big grand slam. Now I know he is Scottish and therefore British but the pressure they put him under and I think he is only 21 is typical of the media headlines we would face as an English football team. Oh well, let's see, Come On Engerland!!!!
Why do they chant, Engerland? My spell check even knows it's incorrect and that's American!!! I just love the spell checker, especially in the blogger. It wants to invent spellings that don't exist. It is hilaryous!! See.
Well for today that is enough, I am aching from all the mixing and leveling and lifting and general activity.............tomorrow people.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Today we attended the fumeral of a long time magician acquaintance. I don't enjoy fumerals but then who does. You are saying goodbye for the last time to a friend or a loved one. Having said that you are not really saying goodbye because they are not siting there in front of you and they will see you or hear you say those goodbyes. Unless you believe in life after death of course, which I think I do but that is for another day maybe soon. The point is attending a funeral of some one you know, who you could have seen before their death is or does make me feel ashamed. Attending the funeral today I was there to pay my respects to Brian whom I could have gone to see but did not. I guess I was there to say sorry as much as goodbye.
Having said that it was a joyful goodbye as Brian had written, and planned the whole thing. No hymns, just his choice of music and songs plus two poems an eulogy and two remembrances from family and friends. I would like to share one of those poems with you here as it is a lovely poem and very thought inducing. With Brian's blessing from where ever he is;
When I come to the end of the road
and the sun has set for me,
I want no tears in a gloom-filled room
Why cry for a sole set free?
Miss me a little - But not for long
And not with you head bowed low,
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me - But let me go.
For this is a journey we all must take,
And each must go alone,
It's all part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to your friends that we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good works,
Miss me - but let me go.
God Bless BRIAN R.I.P.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Well today we were supposed to be having a picnic in the Park with friends but as it was a bank holiday Sunday the weather was typically cold and damp. So we ended up indoors for an impromptu lunch which as it turned out was very pleasant indeed. There is a theory I heard or read or both that we are in the throws of global warming.............well looking out of the window and counting the number of goose bumps on me I would say it is still some way off. Tonight when I went outside to lock the chickens up, in shorts and casual shirt, which was odd for chickens I thought, it was cold and damp and dark at 8.30pm, it felt very Autumn like.
The sad thing is that this is the last Bank Holiday of the year. No more freebies until Christmas. At least we can have some nuts then. I hate nuts, well not all nuts, mainly Walnuts. I don't know why I mention this but it came to me thinking of Christmas. In a few days time it will be September, ninth months of the year, my birthday on Sunday next by the way. Send a card if you wish! Nine months and three left to Christmas.2009 is going so fast, when we look back what we will think about it? I will look back on the last day and reflect then, until that day, onwards and upwards. The sky is the limit...........the world is my lobster or something like that.
A last thought for Sunday, I read in the Mail on Sunday that on the 7th September, day after my birthday, there is a new book being published by a chap called Dr. Robert Holden, entitled, Be Happy. He is a psychologist and has riten this book on the "path to a contented existence" I give you one line from the exert they published, and I quote, (You Magazine, Mail On Sunday)
Want to if you're really happy? Ask, "How happy am I today!"
Think about it and give me your thoughts......... BFN
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Today was the day after the night before when we saw our good friends Paul and Judy. They arrived in their motor home and stayed the night in the motor home despite the offer of a comfy bed for the night. Strange people.............What a night, how much whiskey is it safe to consume over 6 six hours? Not too much is the answer otherwise you finf yourself singing or in my case shouting out of tune to Karaoke DVD's. Lucky we live in the countryside that's all I can say.
Now because we had friends staying on our drive we thought we would leave the back door unlocked for them in case they wanrted to come in for the loo in comfort or something, so we went to bed knowing that a door was unlocked. I would never do thos but that was the trust of the neighborhood.
So while on the trust route we decided today to meet them in the beautiful grounds of Chartwell House in Kent to have lunch in their motor home and then go round the house and gardens. Those who don't know Chartwell should make the effort to visit. It is a National TRUST property, which was the former home of Winston Churchill. Probably the greatest Prime Minister we have ever had. To see the house and the rooms there in, still with his and Clemmies belongings is just fascinating and then visit his painting studio to see his works plus the beautiful gardens makes for a lovely afternoon out. This was our second visit and just as good, if not better as you see more the second time.
On a totally different point, typing the word, property is great because once you have typed PROP the erty are all in a line from e to y so it is a nice wrod to type. How many other words are there like that on the keyboard?
Friday, August 28, 2009
My enter button is playing up. For example if I push it now, this happens....nothing. I should have gone to a new line.
It did it this time, very annoying. I have looked at the computer keyboard and it is the most important button. Without it you go nowhere. Well if you don't include the left click button.
I pushed it again then and again but the second time you did not see it because I stayed on the same
line as the first time so in fact you had now idea I had pushed it at all so unless I tell you I should have been or should be on a new line
you won't know. See it worked that time, blooming thing. Except I should be on the line above but beggars can not be choosers!!! There must be something stuck under it. A piece of toast or a sweet or something. That's the trouble with laptops you work anywhere and everywhere with them. I even use mine as a dinner tray for when we are having a family meal in front of the telly. How many of you lay the table every night then? Well this is a short but sweet blog, cheer up very one, at least your enter button is working!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Guess what? It is up and running at last. The new Mark Worgan website is now live, unlike me who is shattered after a week of late nights building and screaming and swearing at the computer whilst trying to build it. Check it out, www.markworgan.co.uk and let me know what you think? It is strange that we can have a website, say whatever we like and then send it all around the world. That is advertising. Going direct into peoples homes, offices, cars, phones, almost every where. I love the i phone. I don't have one but the concept intrigues me. Most people have a phone about their person most of the time. It is kinda weird to think that as a complete unknown you could be sitting parked in the phone waiting to be released and into the face of the owner. To think that we can be everywhere for what is virtually nothing is an amazing concept. Trouble is, does anyone actually want you when you are there?
Then there is Facebook. What an incredible social networking site that is. I have become a little obsesssed with Farmville lately. You run your own farm and get points the more money you make which in turn allows you to but more things and expend your farm. You plant your veg and fruit, manage your animals. Hang on, I do that already only not for any points or money. Can I transfer my success on Farmville to real life. In around two weeks I have a profit of £16,000. The virtual world is truly fantasy. If only we can turn our web fantasies into reality some times
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
You know I hate it when you make the effort to call some one then they don't call you back!! Even if there is nothing to say, just go through the courtesy of ringing to say well, "good to catch up bye for now," or some thing. Not to call is just rude.........grrrrr!
Thats that out the way. I have been busy building da door for my mothers bungalow. The door goes from her porch to her garden at the rear. The last one was so rotten you could actually put your finger into the wood. I built the door on Monday, undercoated Tuesday, left it today and will gloss it tomorrow..............job done. She had a quote from some one for £300-400, I did it for £90!!! At least I have had one opening this week. I am about to launch, hopefully tonight, my new website. I hope it goes ok, I am very pleased with what I have built. Fingers crossed for me people.
Have you noticed the amount of wasps there are about. Some are beyond wasps and have mutated into monster wasps nearly two inches long and looking like they mean business. We have a fig tree outside the office and a fully laden plum tree in the veg patch. With the fruits ripening the wasps are everywhere, I am scared to go past them. There was a report on the news the other day about a farmer who had been stung to death by wasps. Not risking that!! We also collected four truck loads of 30 year old wood from our neighbor up the road a way. All I have to do now is sort the rubbish wood and cut it up.
Well that's it for the moment.....later
Monday, August 24, 2009
Yeppie, we won the ASHES again. Twice in four years, take that you Aussies!!!! Well done to the English cricket team, you did well lads, now for the One day series.
As for me, I am off to fit a new back door in my mothers bungalow. As it is an outside door I hope the rain keeps off. Looking a bit overcast so fingers crossed.
I spent the bulk of yesterday spraying the thistles in the field. Living in the country you have a duty to keep them under control otherwise they take over. Shame that can not be said of many things in life...............Imagine a spray that could take care of obstacles in life. What would you use it on? I also have to look out a part for Plop our farm 2x4. I miss not being able to run around the place on it and loading all the bits that need shifting from place to place. Well this is a short morning blog so I will sign off and write more later. In the meantime, have a good day.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I still can not beleive that the programme comes back year after year. One or two people will get so called fame.what ever that is and lets face it, fame is really money at the end of the day. The real money of course will go to Simon Cowell presumably. Does the world really need another Boy Band, Girl Band, singer in general? I see groups and individuals all the time as I travel the world on ships entertaining and none apart from a few have ever been anybody before. They are however much better than those who apparently make it. Isn't it a terrible turn of phrase, "been anybody before!" they are some one now but that is what fame ultimately does for you. Once you get to be less and less in the public eye your "fame"diminishes and the term, "a nobody," starts to get used. It is almost as if we are wiping the planet of that person. What a terrible thing fame can be. That is why I remain "Unseen By Millions." I could still do with the money however!!!!!!!!!
So my friends, that is why I placed a gap in the title, week end is what X factor brings for me to the end of a week. Later all................
Thursday, August 20, 2009
WWW. stands for, Where was Wednesday? My last post was the 17th August, which as I look at my watch tells me it was 3 days ago. Well I can account for the 18th as I was busy around the Farm then in the evening I started putting a new web building programme onto the computers, which inevitably lead to trying it out. Well that meant sitting in front of the computer until 1.30am in the morning because you get caught in the World Wide Time Warp. Then Wednesday once again sitting all day in front of the computer trying to get to grips with the programme and starting to build my new website. Website by the way is one word not two, please spell checkers get a grip!!!!!!! So where was Wednesday? One of the hottest days of the year, blue sky, sun, a gorgeous late summers day. Apparently??
The computer is the worst sponge for time and place and moment. It is all too easy to get sucked in to it's bewitching spell and grip. I don't know what it is but it is so mind concentrating yet so easy on the eye in as much that you watch the screen, which you are constantly in control of, changing it's appearance with story or picture or movie or something and almost hypnotising yourself away from real time. After a whole day at the computer we were treated by our good friends Steve and Linda, those of the "Last Cruise," fame to a meal and a few pints of the beautiful Harvey's bitter in the lovely Halfway House Pub, in the evening. Thanks guys, real life savers.XX
Today, was a put a new cooker handle on the cooker in our property in Guildford and then two shows at the fabulous Fishers Farm. 104 miles round trip. Now I am back at the computer after Claire and I have changed the position of the chickens' run and feeding the piggies. At least today I saw the outside world. It still exists, warts and all. As for the new website, it is still in the making but getting close to a finished first crack. I will upload it and I will be making it better but I will also be happy when it is over...........!!!!!!!!!
In past blogs I have moaned about the slow work front and I was looking for the opening to get the ball rolling. Well the opening arrived. I am going to put a new outside door and frame in my mothers bungalow, building it from scratch due to the size. That certainly is an openng but to be honest not what I had in mind!!!!!!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Today was a catch up day. Get some bits done around the farm plus do the food shopping and get the low down on a new web site making programme which is in the post to me.
Our lovely retired vet neighbour came around this evening to spray the sheep with Click to prevent Fly Strike. It is very necessary, after all would you want maggots on your backside??
We then all had a nice meal, which was......roast lamb!! Be assured it was not one that we had just sprayed!!!!
Tomorrow I will finish the bathroom decorations from last week. I hope. I wrongly said that Jennifer Ennis won gold last night for Britain in the Heptathlon. It was in fact Jessica Ennis, sorry Jessica!
Well I guess a bathroom in Brighton will have to do rather than Vegas!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
I am close to tears for a few reasons......I must get some new boxer shorts!
Jennifer Ennis has just won a gold in the Heptathlon in the World Championships. A Brit is number one. A fantastic performance and a hot looking lady as well. Well done!!!
I spent today cleaning out the and organising the workshop, dirty, smelly and covered in cobwebs.............but I good to the kids!!!!!!!!!!!! How do we accumulate so much crap? Is there a crap monster that sneaks in under the cover of darkness and over a period of time drops crap everywhere but secretly adding it to stuff so that when we sort it out we discover things that we know we never had in the first place?
I think I am going to set up CCTV and watch for this magic monster. Well it is 9.00pm on Sunday evening, I have just finished cooking dinner and then washing up and finishing my last bottle of wine. I am not going to have an more alcohol for two weeks and see what difference it makes. Last time I did it for nearly two months and lost three days.........actually lost quite a lot of weight. I will keep you posted.
Going to put the chickens away and watch the Full Monty. Who knows I might be a Chippendale yet.
Friday, August 14, 2009
If I could recommend one thing, it would be NOT to drop a half a dozen eggs in the back of your car on a warm day. I did not do this but good old Derek did just as he was about to leave from a hard day fitting a new bathroom with me...........It was not funny..well not too funny!!! Sorry Derek your a good man and a fine cousin.
I must admit I will be glad when we can finish the job in hand and tomorrow should see it done. Had a nice meal with our dear friends Paul and Judy tonight in their new motor home on a camp site in Alfriston. Lovely evening but I refer you to a previous Blog about travel homes. Theirs is actually great and I look forward to a few more dinners in it with them.
A very short blog today as I have been busy both in the day and tonight but longer ramblings over the weekend.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Down on earth we have so many things that we consider to be problems but in the great scheme of things why worry. Out there somewhere is who knows what and that is bigger than any of us could imagine. It could be good, it could be bad but one thing for certain is that it is unknown and that is a huge thing we should worry about because that might be our saviour or our........ You know it is being so cheerful that keeps me going.
Women's hair...us fellas go to the Barber we sit for 20 minutes, we chat to the barber, he cuts, shows us the back of our head and we get up, pay £9 0r say $15 and leave. Women have to plan a whole day around a visit to the hairdresser. Wash, cut, style, dry, coffee, gossip, text, email, just to name a few things that must be taken into consideration. Then the bill, I guess but without a colour say £30-£45 or $40-$60. Then, they are never really satisfied and they ask you what you think.The most terrifying part of their whole hairdressing experience but not for them, you. What ever you say they won't believe you so do us all a favour ladies. DON'T ASK and if you do, accept what we say........you look beautiful. We mean it!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I am not a fan of speed cameras but I would love one outside our drive.......stop the speed demons, if only to save my life and those of my family.
Well I am beat for the day so a short blog. a new day beckons tomorrow, what will it bring?
Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
While she is seeking work she has reluctantly decided to sign on for a Job Seekers Allowance. I say reluctantly because she wants to work not be supported. Now I might be biased but here she is a hard working individual who genuinely wants a job and not to be a burden on the state. However, she has to jump through hoops, answer tons of questions, justify her previous years of study and account for them and even then she may not be eligible for the allowance. It could take up to 3/4 more weeks before she could even get the allowance that is if they allow it. How does a 22 year old live with no income. What does an honest person have to do to get assistance from the state, some one who will get employment and who will be paying back into the state.
I am so angry that there are some who do nothing, want to do nothing and will continue to do nothing, yet will always get the handouts. Come on, get some perspective in the system. GRRR!!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I love to amaze as well as entertain and make people laugh and the audience that enjoys the spectacle and the entertainment are just wonderful. It is the audience that feels they have a right to mock or try to get one over on the performer that makes the job unbearable sometimes. Still that is also part of the challenge. I have been very fortunate over the years as a professonal to have wroked to audiences all over the world and in that time received truly fanatstic ovations in all languages. I have also received less favourable ovations in all languages as well but we won't dwell on those!!
Why the title drains then. Well I have spent the last hour with our neighbour trying to help unblock her drains. We used my rods and her mans rods and between us managed to clear it so that the water runs away enough. Dirty, smelly, coverd in sludge but she is a good neighbour!!!!!!!!! Don't tell her I said that!!
So where is the link to drains in my opening diatribe. Well, audiences who want to make it a challenge are the drain on my time and skills and the sludge that slows the entertainment from flowing freely. Thankfully it is a small minority so long may the world of magic and entertainment continue.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Don't you love politicians? NO
I know I answered that question for you but they really are a shambles at times. having said that I think we have the best MP's money can buy!! They confuse us with everything they do. At the moment it's Swine Flu. Do you get pregnant now? Well that is up to you of course but if you do I have some helpful advice.
Don't do it in a public place because you will run the risk of contracting Swine Flu not just a baby. Once you are pregnant then stay at home and get others to go out for you. So for instance, shopping, let some one go out and do the shopping but make sure it is all small items that will fit through the letter box. I.e. sausages, slices of ham, take the bread out of packets and feed them one slice or maybe two (subject to the thickness) through the letterbox, Milk will be a problem, I suggest buying those small sachets you get in cafés. Don't even bother with juices unless they are in those yoghurt strip things. Butter I would recommend being spread on the bread as it is placed through the letterbox. I am sure you get the picture.
Then there is the economy. MMM! The Tory's want to set up a new committee to regulate the way banks operate, is that not the FSA,? It does however, tell us exactly how inadequate the FSA is though. I suppose a new authority would be stronger, more robust, have more clout to act................wouldn't it? I see a refurb not a rethink. At least they are trying to do something though, unlike the Labour Government at the moment who seem to have gone extremely quiet even though all around them there are experts saying the end is nigh!! Not the end of the gloom, the end of the world. Who do we listen to?
I think I will get pregnant and stay at home.......if I still have one!!
We have friends over for dinner today and my daughter has a job interview. I really hope she goes well in the interview...Good Luck Pops!!
Being a Monday I wondered if the week would start with renewed vigour and optimism and do you know what? I think there is an air about it. Can not put my finger on it but I think chasing things this week might just bring positive results. I hope my bank manager is Reading this blog!!!!!!!!! Perhaps the thought of positive outcomes will be enough for now? Planted some leeks this morning, no I did not go around making holes in water butts or pipes, I mean the vegetable.
Peculiar things to plant. You take a pencil or similar sized tool and make a hole in the earth. Then you snip the roots and trim the top of the plant and just place it in the hole. The water and subsequent time and nature fills the hole and allows the plant to grow. We had a few last year and they were very nice if a little small. This year we hope for bigger..........leeks that is!!
This morning at 6.00am I was letting the chickens out and there was the most beautiful blue sky and an early morning dampness all over the field. It was a gorgeous sight and on mornings like that there is no better place than the English Countryside. Well this is all for now but I may be back after the meal so watch this space.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I perform comedy and so I want to make people laugh. I love to make people laugh. Every now and again it is more than a strain to do so, so forgive me for the deeper moods. Then again I am sitting in my lounge writing this blog wile Casualty 1909 is on and it is filled with death, doom and gloom. Give me a break.............
I drove past Eddie Izzard today as he was jogging. A surreal moment as it was in the Sussex Countryside and it was the last place I expected to see him. He looked determined and fit. Well I am about done, not much for today but I want to raise my game for the week ahead.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
I know times are tough and we are all suffering the consequences of a world recession and a labour government but if weekends were declared days of rest then perhaps we could take a breath and try to relax. Pie in the sky maybe but I really think we all need time to take our minds from things. When times were good I would never have a weekend as I was always working Saturdays and Sundays but as things have taken a grip I find Saturdays or Sundays become free and yet all around me still feels like a working weekday!!
I know that is a contradiction in terms saying on the one hand take weekends as time off, when I was and still do work them as well but being self employed I used to take days in the week as my weekends. This meant I was still trying to employ the ideal of relaxing even if it was not a Saturday or Sunday. I also know that every penny counts at the moment but if all we do is push and push then life will be shorter and the quality of this short life non-existent.
I, like every one, hopes that the recession stars to turn and we can all start to get back on an even keel but until it does let's try to make everyday count and make it count not just by working but as a chance to get some of that quality back in to our lives.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Listening to the radio and I do like Radio2, I do sometimes get fed up with Jeremy Vine. He has a good current affairs/consumer programme which often has usuful and interesting topics. The downside is that he does sometimes like the sound of his own voice...............break it up more often with some music Jeza, let us gather our thoughts and not have to listen for ever to your voice!!! Less is more!!
Motorways, what's the point. Look at the title, "Motor Ways," that implies to me ways that motors travel or go. Well on the M25 this morning, car park, M3, car park. Where's the go???? What's with variable speed limits? They're having a laugh, the traffic only goes two speeds anyway and one of them is stationary. What's the answer then I hear you cry.......well I will tell you, Stay at home!! Spike Milligan once gave his remedy for sea sickness, he said, "Sit under a tree." Same applies.
I will add more today because it is one of those Fridays........middle of summer and it's raining and feels like an Autumn day. It's dark, damp and neaer to Christmas than it is from it. If that makes sense?
Thursday, July 16, 2009
It is always satisfying to know some one will be reading your work some where in the world. I checked on my sales rankings and having started on 1.4 million or something I have reached the heady heights of 336,0000 which in the great scheme of things is a fantastic leap up the charts. Look out J.K. I am on my way!!!!!!!!
I have a show today for an end of term school celebration. I am never sure who celebrates more, the children or the teachers!!!! I think deep down it's the teachers, I mean who wants seven weeks holiday without children?? I applaud all teachers, you do a brilliant job in troubled times. I know it is different from when I went to school, blimey, I sound like an old man but it is a tougher job today.
Having said that I still think that I should teach. I love performing and the buzz but when ever I am in a school I feel that I have more to give.................left to children probably my mind.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Well, last night the dad rang me and asked if I would perform some Close Up magic for their daughters birthday celebrations prior to her going into town with her friends. I said of course but could not remember how old she was. When he told me 21 years old I could not beleive it. Having seen her last when she was about 11 or 12 it was a real shcok to the system let alone the the ageometer.
30 21 year old's fresh from uni but also a young lady who was now a gorgeous young woman about to start her 4th year at uni. It makes you feel old!! It also makes you realise how quickly time flys doing a job you love. I suppose I take from this a moment in time that says, enjoy what you do because your life will run away from you easier than you think and in the blink of an eye the years will became an age. So do something you love doing and make the most of it everyday.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Then hanging out the washing all before 7.30am. A days work done. I have even had a hair cut this morning. Can a hair cut change your luck, I hope so because for the first time in ages I purchased a lotto ticket. I did six of my own numbers and then six lucky dip. I could not beleive it when the six lucky dips were within one of each of my numbers on at least four of the numbers. Is it an omen?
You will know by the end of the week because I want bother writing this again for a while as I will be away..............
Cahsing work now, does anybody out there need am hilarious comedy magician? All offers considered!!!
Oh well more later.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Still at least I might be able to work beyond 65 so I have much more to look forward to than just today and tomorrow. Just how many openings will there be at DIY stores when I reach the age when I can work there instead of any other job. It will be a good job for the older person as at least I will have a name badge which means I won't have the problem of remembering who I am!!!
I heard yesterday that swearing can be good for you!!!!!! B*****cks......Actually....no, I still feel the same. They say, whoever they are? That if we swear it can be a pain reliever. Well tomorrow I am going to try it out. If I experience pain I am going to swear like F. and see if it works. I just hope it's not in Tesco or the bank!!!!!! Oh well monday draws to a close, lets see what Tuesday brings.